Good Vs Evil
by ZoSo the Twirp
Summary: (Best title EVER) When every fictional villain ever created bands together to defeat good, it’s up to eight fictional heroes and one pop-culture junkie to save fiction! Includes characters from RHPS, LotR, the View Askewniverse, Pootie Tang, PotC, etc.
1. Prologue

Rating: PG, maybe even PG-13 for language in later chapters (maybe)

Summary: When every fictional villain ever created bands together to defeat good, it's up to eight fictional heroes and one pop-culture junkie to save fiction! 

Author's Note: The crossover to rule all crossovers! This is certainly one heck of a plot bunny. This fic will probably have mild hints of slash throughout, nothing to bad, really. I know so many silly little girls have written about "a teenage girl named ----" (A.K.A. themselves) randomly falling into their favorite fandom, which is usually followed by them meeting their favorite fictional heartthrobs, and generally doing nothing. I confess, this fic may fall into that category, but I assure you, this has a plot, and although it is humor, isn't complete caffeine and hormone-induced nonsense. Well, not really, at least. 

If this ever, EVER shows signs of Mary Sue-ness, please inform me, I will gladly throw my computer out the window and hit myself repeatedly. Thanks.

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It was a sight to be seen. Every super-villain, villain, bad-guy, evil-doer, and arch nemesis was filtering into the cavernous stadium-style building. They took their seats around the platform in the center of the main room, the general buzzing of chatter almost deafening. Their noise was quickly silenced, however, as a man with a microphone walked to the center of the stage. All eyes focused on the unknown man in the middle of the room, eagerly waiting to find out why they had been summoned to….well, no one actually knew where they currently were.

The man cleared his throat. "Ladies, Gentlemen, and all other non-humanoids, welcome. Thank you for coming today. I have summoned you all here today to inform you of my plan." A questioning murmur arose from the crowd. "It's an evil plan." The crowd calmed again, faces changed from looks of suspicion to looks of approval. 

"Yes, well, I have a plan. In case you haven't noticed, you are all evil. You are the meanest of the mean, the worst of the worst of the worst. Terrible villains, every one of you. Congratulations." Applause.

"Unfortunately, your evilness has given you all a rather infamous reputation, as it were. We are constantly being defeated by the "Good Guy",". Shouts of "Curse them!" and "Meddling kids!" could be heard.

"Exactly. Try as we might, we just can't get a break. And what sets us apart from said "Good Guys"? Eh? Why do we do what we do? Why do we form plots, plans, what have you? For power. And what person doesn't want power? It's in our nature!" More cheers of approval.

He continued. "However, this lust for power leads to our downfall. We are just as strong and powerful as the "heroes", we could easily beat them. But while they join together and use team work, we work alone, seldom forming alliances, and never helping each other out. We can defeat good once and for all! All we have to do is learn from them, take a page from their book. If we band together, I assure you, our superior force will be enough to change the story of "good vs. evil" forever!" More applause than ever filled the stadium. "Villains, it's our time to shine."

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A/N: Don't forget to review! Also, I'm still in the process of fleshing out the main character of this fic. Since I really, REALLY don't want to base the character on myself that much, I'd love suggestions as to personality, name, appearance, etc. I'm thinking just a general sarcastic fan girl type. Hmm?


	2. Enter Heroine

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the celebrities mentioned herein. I do, however, own the main character, but I don't think anyone wants her though.  
  
Mary Sue Warning Edit: When I warned about Mary Sue, I didn't mean the kind of Mary Sue that involves said Mary Sue falling in love with Random- Fictional-Character. I would stab out both my eyes with forks before writing that kind of Mary Sue. I meant the kind of Mary Sue where ones self is portrayed in the story, and I am trying to make the main character as much unlike myself as possible. Really, I am!  
  
Also, thanks to all the reviewers, and I'm sorry I haven't updated in, what, 6 months? In fact, I wasn't planning on continuing this fic at all, but your good reviews have inspired me. Hurrah! Also, I must ask another favor of you wonderful people. As you are all probably aware, the title for this fic sucks. A lot. So, if you possibly could, I would much appreciate it if you could perhaps add some suggestions as to new titles? Anyone who comes up with a title gets a cookie!  
  
And so, with no further excuse-making, I give you.  
  
Good Vs. Evil, ch.2 - Enter Heroine!  
  
3:15am. "Wonderful." She said out loud. Once again she had lost track of time, surfing the vast, never-ending sea that is the Internet. Thank goodness it was summer vacation, and she could wake up tomorrow whenever she pleased, or at least whenever her mother finally decided to start screaming at her to get up and "do something useful!" It was those mornings that she thanked her stuffed animal collection for being such good projectile weapons.  
  
3:47am; where had the time gone? Well, it didn't matter much now. That Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic wasn't going to finish reading itself, now was it? And besides, she was in a heated debate on her forum (and it practically was her forum), with some noob who claimed it was Tolkien's intention to make Sam Gamgee the comic relief, not the real hero. "Psh. Stupid newbies." This debate, however, would just have to wait till the morning, er, late afternoon, because it really was time for bed. She would just make a quick LiveJournal update, and then she would go to.  
  
A large flashing pop-up covered her whole screen, positively blinding her vision with its' brightness in the otherwise pitch-black room. "THINK YOU ARE A POP-CULTURE EXPERT?" the pop-up read. "TAKE OUR QUIZ, AND PROVE YOURSELF WORTHY!"  
  
"Worthy of what?" she wondered. It seemed a bit odd that the pop-up didn't really seem to be selling anything at all, and, perhaps, if she had not been sleep-deprived, or perhaps if she had not just read unholy amounts of fanfiction for the past six hours, she would not have clicked on the link. She did click the link, however, and was taken to a plain quiz website, in black courier font, with a white background. The questions were fairly simple, to her at least.  
  
"4. Who is the director of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, and Dogma?" Obviously she knew that, any idiot would, and besides, she had met Kevin Smith at ComiCon this summer. She glanced away from her monitor to the signed Polaroid of her and Kevin, which was tacked to the cluttered bulletin board above her desk. Ah, that was a good time, indeed.  
  
4:12am, last question, "42. What is the significance of the last number of this quiz?" What was with these simple questions? She had read the whole Hitchhiker's Guide series by the time she was 12. The people who wrote this quiz were obviously newbies. She checked the correct answer box, but there didn't seem to be a "send" button. She couldn't help but be just a little peeved. She had taken the time (twenty-five minutes of her precious time, to be exact), and she didn't even get to find out her final score?  
  
She was just about to close the window in disgust, when the screen suddenly changed, the quiz seemed to have sent itself, and the window now said "PROCESSING YOUR RESULTS.PLEASE WAIT." Well, that was certainly odd.  
  
4:21 am, still processing her results. This website was bogus, it was impossible that so many people were taking the same quiz, at the same time, that the system was jammed, and it certainly wasn't any fault of her high- speed DSL, that was certain. The only reason was that the website was just busted, and what a shame. She really wanted to see what obscenely high score she got, so she could put it on her LiveJournal. She put everything on her LiveJournal. Just as she was signing onto her account to gripe about the stupid quiz, the window changed, yet again, completely by itself. The screen remained white, and in the center of the window, in tiny black letters, said simply "Congratulations." She was more confused than ever. "What is this," she thought to herself. "I don't even get a score!?" She reached for the power button, not even bothering to shut down. She was annoyed, no doubt due to lack of sleep, and was going to bed.  
  
"I wouldn't press that button if I were you." A disembodied voice, sounding mysteriously like Alan Rickman's, made her freeze. "You heard me. If you have any sense at all, you won't turn off your computer, and you'll listen to me." She was silent. She wasn't going to answer a computer. It was probably just a joke, correct? Yes? Yes, it was most definitely a very clever joke. A very, very clever joke.  
  
It was clearly not a joke, however, since it is common knowledge that, no matter how clever a computer nerd thinks they are, it is impossible to program a website to make its' visitors vaporize, which this website seemed to be able to do with barely any effort at all. 


End file.
